How easy is success?

So as I mentioned before that I am a member of audible.com where you pay a monthly fee and you get a credit which you can use to purchase one or probably millions of books on the site. Well since I'm done with The four hour work week  I had to select another one. So I picked Napoleon Hills Think and grow rich.  I just barely stared it and I think I already know what it's about. From just the two first chapters it talks about people that have been so success full and how they got there. What I have caught from the first two chapters is that the formula to being rich is to desire to be rich (being obsessed with having money and how your going to get it)+ persistence = success. I half way read another book that was similar in though to this one. But to tell you the truth I just didn't buy it. But then again maybe it didn't happened for me at that time because I was looking for a more complicated formula. Sometimes the answer we are looking for is right there in front of our face but we think it can't be that because it's too simple. What I'm going to do it try it. What could happen? where I  am now is worse than the failure of it not working. So far I'm liking that it's full of stories of real people. People who have used this formula and had it work for them. As for me I love that this book give me an idea to preoccupy my mind instead of thinking what happens if I can't do it. I should be thinking how I am going to feel when I have already made it. Let's see how it turns out.

 

Frustrated with software!!

Man, this whole new computer thing is cool because it's new but then again it sucks because of this new pc I had to buy another more updated version of the video editing software I was using. It's a bit more complicated than the one I had. I hate having to learn new software! It's asking me for activation code whice it never gave me... a while ago I was so scared because I wasn't sure that the camera I'm using was going to be able to import into the software because I had tried one of my other videos and it didn't because it didn't have the program I was running or some s***. I don't know why the h*** I'm going to be able to make and edit another video, plus I have to learn more shortcuts because the other ones may not work. What a pain in the a**!! I have already made a list of the videos I want to make for when I actually get back on Youtube. But who knows when that will be. I can say that this particular software is so hard to learn it has seriously taken me like three years to just scrach the surface of what it could do. And now I have to learn a new version.... :(  Don't be surprised if the next time you see me in video I have less hair just in case I decided to pull some of it out from frustration....lol

If it's not one this it's another

Yesterday my mom told me that when she went out side to water the garden the main water valve was leaking. Well yeah it turns out that the people that made the house didn't put a the right type of glue to mend two types of PVC together and it was leaking. WTF! Man I swear if it's not one think it's another thing. The good this is that I have very observant neighbors. The are just some cool people. One of the told me about it and the other one fixed it. That was so cool of them! I don't regret making the decision to buy my house but sometimes I do think, man it would have been better had I had a man around to at least help me fix s*** when it went wrong. Thank God I have Great neighbors...

Originally posted to Myspace blog: 09/12/2009 : Deal Breakers...

I have recently had a few conversation with some of my guy friends lately that made me think about some stuff lately. We talked about guys and how they think real hard about getting in a relationship with a girl that has kids. I guess since I don't have any kids I'm on there side. I talked to this guy that said " I don't want to be a dad to kids that aren't mine". Can I blame the guy?

Originally Posted on Myspace blog: 10/19/2009 : It is true!!

So a while ago a posted a bulletin saying that I found a website in which the state comptroller of TX has some money out there for some people. For instance I had money out there from way back when I used to work at Kroger. I must have not cashed a check or they did not give it to me or something. Anyways even though it was like 10 years ago. I called the number on that website (because I didn't want to put my social security number on that website)and I asked them for the paper work to claim my money. They sent me some forms which I filled out and sent back. It was like a month long wait but I did receive a check from the Texas comptroller of public accounts in the amount of $150.88!!!! that amount was not the whole amount  they did charge like 1% if its over $100.00. I could not tell you why they charge that amount, I'm thinking processing I'm not sure. All I know is that it is true and just if you are wondering this is the website:


http://www.window.state.tx.us/up/

Originally posted on Myspace blog 01/05/2010 : Purgatory on earth...

What is relationship purgatory, you ask. Purgatory(2): a place of suffering, expiation ( wandering freely), or remorse. Thus, relationship purgatory means: repeat mistakes over and over until you better. EI: remain single. Let me tell you it seems like I have been in that hell hole almost all my life! I think I could draw you a map with my eyes closed. But I digress. This year my new year resolutions are to pay off debts, work out a little more, to be closer to God and of course the in inevitable to stay off medication. As it seems the latter might be the hardest to do.lol. With all the crazies running around in the world. Like the guy that makes dates and doesn't keep them. Using he forgot as an excuse...so did your dog eat the paper you wrote our date on?? or the other one who take its out on the first date...WTF???!!! In what world is that acceptable in? other than the porn industry. The only thing I can think of is that I must be looking in the wrong places. Where are the God fearing people at? Church, you say well I'm not so sure about that...When disappointing shit happens like that you can't also help but to try to place a finger upon yourself to see if it something you are doing to cause behavior that is unacceptable. I mean if you keep having the same problem don't you think that in the end you keep picking the wrong people? I was just at the stage of self thought that possessed me to look for some answered of the last devastating broken heart. I contacted the person that could give me the answers. ******** * ***** He wrote back "I just wanted to say that things ended up the way they did because of me. You didn't do anything wrong. It's my fault." So there you heard it from the first person. It wasn't me it was him the whole f****** time!! It does help me cope with the fact that I know that I did the best that I could and It just didn't work because it just wanted meant to be... As sad as all that is. I have to keep going and God help me find what you meant for me.

Originally posted on Myspace blog 01/10/2010 : Moments of favor

You guys already know that Joel always says something that inspires me to write about something. Write a letter or email to a once loved person write something you can open your eyes to God and his works. He was talking about favors that you have not yet seen in your life. To live your life with expectancy, etc. I remember late during the winter of 2008 I was so busy. I was dealing with my job ever so stressful, bought off by another company didn't know about what was going to happen with everything. I knew everything was going to be OK, though. Still dealing with the reversal of roles in my apartment. I had told my mom that she could retire her job because I knew that I could take care of us both. She has worked all her life. It was her time to take a break. Also dealing with a lease expiring soon and feeling like I didn't want to waist my money on renting any more. I started looking for a house. Feeling another frustration because all the houses I looked at were beautiful and that I would love to live in a nice house that was relatively new possibly in Richmond so that I could be away from the hustle and bustle of the city. (I do not know what I was thinking at the time hustle and bustle is a good thing, I think now as long as your house is calm.) Anyways. Plain frustrated. For one I was going at it alone and that in it of it self sucked. I'm looking for a house that I might potential have to live in by myself with the dog. I was also pissed at the Realtor because I had put in so many contract on houses that were in my price range of 100k. Keep in mind I'm a single person that loves to travel and I didn't want to pick a house that was too cheap and I would have to worry about or a house that was too expensive to where I wouldn't be able to take trip as my usual nature. I had gone to see this one brick house in Richmond in a newer neighborhood, two stories the layout was pretty the master was downstairs three bedrooms up, and foreclosed at 102k. I was super excited I had the Realtor draw up the papers as soon as he could and I signed them on the dotted line. In a week or so I was driving home from a restaurant I had dinner at. The phone rings. It was the Syed. He said they gave the house to someone else. At that moment, I was crushed. My dream of living in that house was gone, just like that. I could not help but sob in the car. I was crying so hard I think that guy at the light was staring at me like who killed her dog? lol. I know you guys are going to think it's crazy but as a sobbed I talked to God out load and said God when are you going to make this happen for me? When am I going to find my house? When? When? When? I fell silent for a moment and he responded (not literal) but it was like having a thought in my mind that I didn't think up that came from my tummy. He said "Have Patience" Right when I heard that I stopped crying. And just said OK. I took a deep breath wiped off my tears and accepted what I was told. A few weeks later I was talking to my Realtor and he said to me "In the area you are looking and the price range you are looking for it's going to be almost impossible to find. You need to look else where." I took his advice. I looked in the zip code that was right next to the one that I was currently living in and found some houses that I had not even know where there. Some houses built in 2006. I made a appointment to meet up with Syed and see them. It was early in the morning about 9 o'clock. The sun was out and bright not a cloud in the sky. The moment I stepped in my house I knew. It was bright and sunny in there the two rows of windows let me see and hear the Hallelujahs God was singing from heaven for me and my house. (I'm not trying to boust about my house just trying to tell you how great  God is.) I always wanted a big (2199 sqft), open concept house. It has arches and a 20 foot ceiling over the living room, two stories, granite counter top kitchen, tile in the kitchen, Berber carpet, whirlpool tub in the master, crown molding galore, three bed rooms up stairs(Its just me and my mom I don't need 4 but apparently I need stairs to tone my ass, lol), in a gated community. And that is not the best, the best was that the hour that we went to go see it it was 102k dollars. I had Syed draw up the contract and bring it to the office immediately. The best part about it was that God was not through making me see how he had already lined up the greatest house I could have imagined for me he was going to go beyond my expectations. I was so happy that I found that house I told my co workers about it and they said they wanted to see in on HAR. One hour later after I went to go see it it had come down in price!! From 102k to 85k!! Syed came for me to sign the papers I sent him away to draw up new ones for the lower price. On Feb. 18th 2009 I became a proud first time home owner!! God was guiding my steps all the way here.  So the moral of the story is that there are moments in life of favor waiting for all of us. I believe that God guide us through it all. We have free will but a moment in favor will catch up to you and show you that you are important to Him. He does look out for, opens the right doors, closes the wrong doors for a reason. The reason is probably because there is something he wants to give you that is better than even you can imagine. 

Originally Posted to Myspace blog 01/22/2010: Down for whatever

So lately I have been thinking and learning a lot through other people's lives. So I have this close friend that got married somewhat of a young age. And yeah that's cool for some people cause if you find someone that you can grow with and they are down for whatever, roll with whatever life throws at you, through thick and thin that's awesome. I get that but for more that half of the people that are now married will end up splitting up. Anyways so my friend loves the person he is with I don't doubt that for one minute but he has found out that the girl hes with isn't open minded about a lot of things. Not only about little things like parting but also on raising their kids and each others parents and on top of all that the financial situation doesn't help at all. As I hear people's problems I always think to myself what would I do if that happen to me? What could I say or do so that would communicate how important this issue is to me? I give advise if it's asked but they are people in committed relationships and the whole nine and have to take my advise with a grain of salt because I have no authority what so ever  I'm damn near 30 and still single. So in any case I don't want to be Negative Nancy, but I don't think it's gonna work out. (BTW I never say to leave the person, I always say to work things out because I'm a romantic at heart) Isn't it fucked up that that's the way life is sometimes? even if two people love each other, even if they have ties that bind like kids, that doesn't mean they should stay together. But for me being single it makes me really wonder about the kind of person that I want to end up with. I know for sure we all change as time goes on. Our life makes us bump paths with people that shape us and into the people that we become. And even as adults you can hear profound things from strangers if you are open to hearing what people have to say. What I'm saying is that it's hard to find someone that you can trust to be as open minded as you are or at least trust to try to understand where your coming from. I guess it is all about communication, talking about what works for you and what doesn't about anything and everything. All I can say is that it's an eye opener...

Originally Posted on Myspace blog: 01/31/2010: Thanks!

So you may or may not know my 30th party was last night at my house. Man I remember thinking when I was younger that when I was thirty I would be so old. I must say its nothing like what I expected. I have learned a lot in my life but the most things I have learned from I know its gonna sound weird but I have learned the most from my mistakes. Because of those mistakes I found out who I am. And who loves me for me. My friends and family have been there for me when times where hard. Like when I was in hospital about to die, when my doctor told me he thought I had cancer, when my heart was so broken that I thought I would never laugh again. Bottom line I feel like the first part of my life is over. And the second part of my life is starting but I know now who my friends are now. I love myself more than I have in a long long time. I know that the second part of my life is going to be better than first because I have such a strong bond with them. God couldn't have given me better friends. Thank you for coming to my party and making a special day for me!! I will be posting pics and maybe video later.

Originally posed on Myspace blog 04/15/2011: 6 Years !

So it's that time again when I have to write about my life and think about how I could be dead right now.... Yeah I know what a bummer to think about the day I got shot. I guess now it's like a tradition for me to write about it. I'm not sure if you know or not but six years ago today I was shot in the chest. Yeah it was a bitch but I got through it only with the grace of God. After that day I can complain all I want but that is still the worst/best day of my life. You might wonder why? well yeah that happened to me and while the memories of what happened are fading the lessons learned that day aren't and will never fade. Bottom line not all people in the world have good in them some people will do whatever they have to do to get what they want. I do thank God that he gave me a good attitude to get through it and be a better person for it but I do see why some people are so bitter. Its hard to learn that lesson in life. Because you always grow up being told everyone has a little bit of good in them. Bullshit whoever said that never meet everyone! You know sometimes I wonder about what happened to those three guys, where they could be and if they ever got what they had coming to them. You know that Karma shit. I wonder if they are in jail or perhaps dead?  Only God knows what of them. One part of me hopes they asked for forgiveness so that nothing like what they did to me happens to anyone in their family so they would not have to suffer like I suffered with the colostomy bag for a whole year of my life. But then another part of my wish they rot in hell for what they did and yet another part of me just doesn't give a shit because I know God will take care of them if he has not already done so. I guess I must be tired or grouchy today, I'm not being my usual cheerful, grateful self on my anniversary. I think I am I bit tired. I am happy though to be alive, to be healthy, to be loved and to have my family and my friends and my job. So I guess I try not to complains as much as I have recently. That's what I'll be trying to work on for a while I guess...I don't have insight on life today...

RIP Dr. Kevorkian

When I first found out about this Dr. that was performing human euthanasia, I know I was very young. It was very controversial back then which it still is. Since this is my blog I'm going to tell you what I think about it from my prospective. From my frame of reference ie. having had a long history with medical issues. I can understand why people might just want to give up on their lives. Pain tolerance varies from person  to person. I Know I have a high tolerance for pain but not everyone does. When I was shot in the chest I don't remember the first two weeks I was in the hospital because the doctors had me in a medically induced coma. I for one am happy that they did that. I do remember that after one of the many many surgeries I had I came of it in so much pain that even though I couldn't talk I was shaking and groaning because I was in so much pain. I seriously don't remember anytime in my life having so much pain. (they gave me fentanyl immediately, Thank God ). How this relates to my opinion is that if there are people in this world that have that much kind of pain going on all the time with no hope of ever getting better, in that case I understand why they might not want to live. Religion is always what makes everything so complicated. A large majority of people believe that if you kill yourself you will be going to hell. What if the person already thinks they are in hell because of all the pain that they are in? Just for a moment let's say that there is no heaven and there is no hell. Let's say you just die and that it. Is it still hard to approve of what this man did? In the case of  Thomas Youk he had Lou Garrets disease. He wasn't able to move hardly and was in fear that he would die by drowning in his own saliva.To Thomas Dr. K  was a hero! He gave him dignity to die how and when he wanted. Those are extreme cases but they happen. Who are we to stand in to say this person has to suffer through this entrapment of your soul in a body that doesn't work any more? It's kind of weird thinking that this guy is dead. If we could talk to him now , I wonder if the having seen what life after dead looks like, would the Dr have regretted injecting Thomas or just his position on the subject at all? Only he and his maker know, as for me I didn't see him as a bad guy. He gave people the choice to be able to have a say when, where and how they wanted to go. People that might have had years and years for suffering to go. RIP Dr.

Review: The Four Hour Work Week By Timothy Ferriss

I "read" this book and man does this book open your eyes about the whole world. I was attracted to this book just by the title but after reading this book it actually made me mad. Because he talks about our life here as Americans. He makes a lot of sense. This guy really makes you think about how your life could be if you really didn't have a care in the world. You could be lying on some beach somewhere sipping on a pina colada for all you know, but no your sitting at home writing a review on a book about someone who is doing just that. Working from half ways around that world somewhere. I loved this book because it gives you an option. It give your resources to start making plans so that you could replicate the same actions he did. It seems so easy too... It was an amazing book. It put all these ideas in my head about starting my own business online and how to keep the end in mind as he says all through this book (he means where you have an Internet company that runs itself). This book is about freedom and how to get there. I feel it sort of reminds me of the matrix in a way. He is like Morpheus asking about which pill would you want to take the red or the blue? Once you read this book it will put a fire under your ass to get up and DO something. It's awesome , I recommend it to anyone that has ever HATED their job and wanted to be their own boss. This book is for you!

What had happened was...

Hey guys, so where have I been? I have been in Internet HELL. So what had happened was that my PC finally went out on me!! That frigging thing. To tell you the truth I don't think that I will be buying that name brand computer EVER! Well what happened was that I had that particular computer for like 5 years already. I knew it was on its last legs because it was running so slow and I know it was my fault because I was using video editing software as you all should know for my YouTube channel. So I knew someone was up. I had build one with dell because that's the kind of computer I already had. But then I went this electronic store by my house and they told me some info that help me out a lot so I that's when I decided that I would not be purchasing a new dell.  So anyways,  one minute I was opening up one of my emails from a company we all know and love and all of a sudden my McAffe say it detected an Trojan horse and down it went. So everything on it was gone. Although its still ok because I had backed up a lot of my stuff. All in all it was still OK I knew I needed a new one anyway. I just thought I might at least have a couple of months to save. But it's whatever. So the GREAT news is that I'm online again.  I just have to buy the update version of my video editing which will be very very soon. And I will be back making at least one video per week. I have to say I'm loving this new one. It's super fast and an AWESOME deal. This was the best buy I could find all over the net believe me I was looking for a while (like months and months prior to this) . It has an Intel Core i7-2600 processor, 3.40GHz , 8GB DDR3 SD RAM system memory, 1.5TB SA TA hard drive.If you don't know what that is don't worry about it. It just means it's pretty sweet. Plus I didn't mind that it didn't come with a monitor because I just hooked it up to one of my 42 in TVs, it's bad ass!! I know I'm such a geek, I get all happy with PC specs. Anyways I'll write later. Gotta go enjoy my new PC...