Fat, sick and nearly dead

So I saw this movie on Netflix about a week ago. It's about this Australian guy in his late thirties or early forties. I'm sorry I didn't pay enough attention to his age but anyways. The point of the movie is that he is making a documentary about his journey of fasting on juice for 60 days. So basically he doesn't eat solid food for 60 days. When I first heard that I though this guy has to be nuts that can't be healthy. We as it turns out that he was pretty sick he had high blood pressure and this auto Immune disease  which at any moment could break him out in hives. Before he started this fasting he was taking a lot of medications for all this condition I think I recall him saying like 8 pills a day or something of the sort. Well for the first month he stayed in and around New York I think it was because he had to be supervised by his doctor. But the he began on this road try where he meet many people that he interviewed at random, telling them his story. Well as time in the movie progressed you could see what was happening to him he started losing weight in the first week. In any case the moral of the story was that I was inspired to do this too. OK not as extreme as this dude but I have been replacing at least one meal a day with juice. I put all kinds of fruits and veggies in it and drink it down. In the morning I have been having a sweet one of apples or oranges. And in the evening I have been having one with more tomatoes and veggies in it. One this I have began to notice is that I have less headaches. I used to never get them but more recent I was having to carry pills for it or some type of medication in my purse for it. But since the juicing less headaches in fact I think I only remember having one this week. Plus I feel I have more energy. That's always a plus. My mom says she sees a difference which I don't see it in my clothes yet but as I used to this more and more I know I will. I like this new kick I'm on. It's like I can feel that I'm getting more and more alert if that makes any sense. I went to the doctor recently and I don't think I got all of a good health report so I make this transition into a healthier life style I hope my body starts to catch up with what my mind already knows which is that it's time for a change and the faster I get there that happier I will be.

To have and to hold

" The most important relationship you have in your life is the relationship you have with yourself because no matter what happens you will always be with yourself."- Diane Von Furstenberg. So I have been watching a lot of netflix lately. (Elvia convinced me to get it even though other people raved about it- I love it now.) I have been watching The Hills and The City and some of those episodes are so familiar. These dramas happen in real life. There were a couple of episodes there that I really related to what these girls went through. LC's  feelings towards Jason the coming and the going in and out of  her life. The surprise she got when he had been hanging out with her after his stint in rehab and how she thought just for a min, that he was talking to her because he wanted to get back with her but really he just wanted to be friends. Yeah, I'm vaguely familiar with that feeling. Lately I have been feeling weird, like health has been on my mind more and more. I have also been thinking about having that desire to be with someone. Like not wanting to be alone anymore. Feeling like I want someone in my life to have and to hold. But all those feelings I just think about myself and the last time I got really hurt. I wasn't cool at all and at times I wonder when or even if I will get over it. But then I think it's been too much time I have to come out of this rut I'm in. Not every guy is the same, there are good guys out there. When I think about my desire to have someone I think about why hasn't someone appeared in my life yet? I can't help to think what's the matter with me? Then I think about my weight and I think if there was something that I would want to change about myself -it's that. I don't want to sound conceded by I know I'm pretty but I would be prettier if I was thinner (and healthier). So I bought a bike and I'm trying to ride it every other day. I just think I'm done trying to work on the emotional part of my self. I have to accept it for what it is. The guy that I though was the love of my life wasn't and I have to get over it. I have to know that there is someone out there for me and God's gonna step in any day now. Till then I should just be concerned about getting to a healthy weight and keeping happy, and having fun with my friends.