YOLO Bucket list

1. Read the bible cover to cover
   
2. Go ice skating
   
3. learn french
   
4. go do indoor rock climbing
   
5. Learn to surf or windsurf
   
6. Get a tattoo
   
7. Go to an nfl football game
   
8. Get a concealed hand gun license and gun
   
9. Take a self defense class 
10. Finish my business degree
    
11. go horseback riding
    
12. go fishing
13. Learn to play poker
14. volunteer on a missionary trip
    
15. Go zip lining
    
16. Ride in a hot air balloon
17. learn to tango
18. ballroom dance
19. go on a cruise
20. fire walk
21. ride a mechanical bull
22. go cart race
23. lose thirty pounds
24. learn to play golf
25. go skiing and or snowboarding
    
26. Visit Australia, scuba dive in the great barrier reef, see the opera house
    
27. Visit the the pyramids in Egypt
28. Visit the holy land
29. write and publish a book about my life
30. Ride in a helicopter
31. Go skydiving (I changed my mind and I will be going with my sister Mello this summer)
32. Visit Paris too many things to list
    
33. Visit Spain and participate in the running of the bulls and La tomatilla
    
34. Visit Venice and ride in a gondola
    
35. Live in Europe for one year
36. live in NYC for one year
37. live in Chicago for one year
38. visit the great wall of China
39. visit the Taj mahal in India
    
40. visit Petra in Jordan
41. visit all seven continents
42. Visit Amsterdam and the see the red light district, and of course smoke
    
43. Visit Germany and go to Oktoberfest and drive sober on the German autobahn
    
44. Go to Brussels, Belgium and go to the delirium cafe
    
45. Go to the grand canyon and white water raft
    
46. visit Manchu Picchu in Peru
47. Go to rio de ganeiro, see the Christ redeemer statue
48. Go to Fiji
49. Start a business
50. Fall in Love again and become a wife and mother
    

Life is short and fleeting...You should start a bucket list before you get to the end of your life and regret not doing all the things God put in your heart to do. Some of this shit seems trivial but really it's stuff that might make you feel more alive. Try something new it feels good to get away from the usual. I'm don't think I'm going to go in all this stuff in order but if God lets me I will have enough life left to do most of it. Take a look at my list, if you see anything on mine in common with yours (within reason), let me know- maybe we could cross some of it off together. Can't wait to get started!!!

The gift of goodbye ( an except from Every Day A Friday by Joel Osteen)

"A crutch is a temporary tool we use for walking after an injury to a leg or a foot. Once the injury has healed we put the crutch away and walk on our own. The word crutch is also used to describe something or someone we may rely on short term to help us get through a period of challenge. The term takes on a bad connotation though, when used to describe something we've become unnecessarily dependant on usually to the detriment of our physical or emotional progress. A crutch is supposed to be temporary, just until we heal, or until we can get by on our own. It's not supposed to be permanent. Even when a crutch is someone important to us. One of the hardest things to accept is that not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever. Some people are meant to be with our for the long term,of course, your spouse, your children, your sibling, your parents. But then there are those God brings across your path for a season. maybe a mentor, a teacher and guide of some sort to help your through a certain stage of life or a difficult time. If God didn't move the away we would become too dependant, instead of helping us they would hinder us. Their presence might limit our growth. You have to be big enough to recognize when some one's part in your life's story is over. It doesn't mean the person is bad, you can still be friends. You can still love and respect each other but you must accept that everything changes. To move forward You have to let go. Just as God super naturally brings people into our lives He will supernaturally move people out. When a person walks away and you think you can't live without them, that's God saying its time for you to go to a new level. You don't need someone to constantly think for you, drive for you, believe in you and encourage you, you can do that for yourself. If you are to keep growing eliminate dependencies on crutches. Don't try to talk people into loving you. Don't try to persuade them to stay beyond their usefulness , let them go. Your destiny in not tied to your mentors. His or her leaving will launch you ahead it's not a step back, it's a step up. When someone walks away it's not an accident, God will open up new doors you will discover greater strength and new talents. God maybe preparing to bring in even someone better for the future. When my mentor from television broadcast left I had a choice I could either mope around in self pity or move toward my destiny. I came to realize there is something called the gift of goodbye. You may not realize if at first but losing your crutch is a gift from God. I saw this principle in action during my fathers ministry. Whenever someone announced he or she was leaving the congregation they expected my father to be down and discouraged that they were leaving, so that person was often shocked when he seemed happy at their departure. He never tried to talked them into staying or to convince them they were making a mistake. My father was always very gracious. He always thanked them, prayed over them and then he walked them to the door. He didn't say it but I know what he was thinking, the sooner you go the better for both of us. You want people in your life who are supposed to be there. When God wants them present in your life they don't find fault in everything you do. You don't have to manipulate them to stay. That's what I love about members of Lakewood there's so many I can't know most of them by name. I can't call them personally but I know they don't come to church because they need me, they come because God lead them to our church. They don't need me to touch them, they need God to touch them. When God sends people your way you don't have to play up to them and do everything perfectly to keep them happy. You don't have to walk on eggshells trying not to offend them. You don't need friends who are hard to please. If someone tries to manipulate you like that let it go and walk away. You don't need anyone else to fulfill your destiny. I love this scripture, they went our from us because they we not of us, for if they had been of us they would of continued with us. When people leave your life they are no longer a part of your destiny. Their time is over. If you stay open God will give you people who are not just with you but for you. There is a big difference. When your only with me you're there as long as I perform perfectly, as long as I give you everything you need, as long as I don't make mistakes. But when your not just with me, but your for me you believe the best in me you don't try to control me, you give me room to make mistakes, you don't need my attention all the time, you give more to the relationship than you take away. That's the kind of people God wants to bring in to your life. You don't have try to make this happen. Just be your best each day and God will bring you Divine connections. And then when they season for that relationship is over, you don't have to be upset. You can let the other person leave with your blessing continuing to love and respect him or her. I've learned this God will always bring the right people into your life but you have to let the wrong people walk away. The right people will never show up if you don't clear out the wrong people."



Can't sleep...thought I would share this priceless advice!!!

Eight Years and counting...

Today marks a eight years since I was shot. It feels like it didn't even happen to me -almost like it was a lifetime ago. Although I know it did because I have plenty of scars to remind me it did. You know what the only few things I remember about actually being in the hospital are? I remember when I woke up my mom was on the right side of my hospital bed and I started to cry because I couldn't speak. I had tubes coming out of my mouth and a hole in my neck. One of the things that stands by me is that my mom didn't cry( not even once) while I was in there. Maybe she did in private but  not in front of me- and if so I have no knowledge of it. Do you know I have only seen my mom cry about two or three times in my life? I made her cry once by being insensitive and once she cried because of a friend. I can't remember the other time but it wasn't when I got shot. I think if I would have seen her cry I would have understood that magnitude of what happened to me that night eight years ago. Since she is so strong I hope that rubbed off a little on me. I know I always say this but it's true, I'm glad it happened to me. If it would have happen to someone else maybe they would that let that define who they were. Maybe they would be bitter about it. Not me. Because of this I'm aware of how fragile our lives really are. One day you could be doing some mundane thing, something you've done a hundred times before and next could be riding in an ambulance. Crazy. You know I ask God right after it happened? I used to ask him why did it happened to me. He never answered me. But what I can say that if it didn't happen I don't I would be where I am today. Because of this my job found out that I was good at my job so when I came back I got a promotion soon after. What I ask God now is that everyday since I have been able to make him proud of the person I have become- even though I'm not perfect, that saving me that night was worth His work in me. That even though I might not know why He left me on this earth that He one day helps me find out what it is. But most of all  that I do what He left me here to do and all the while I'll be rejoicing in His name.

My first wedding dress...

All I have to say was that my mom has always been a different kind of mom. When I was about five years old we use to live with my moms friend in California. This was in 1985. Carmen (my moms freind) was married to Raul. Raul was a very friendly man who used to help a lot of people out. So naturally they had lots of acquaintances. So as a result because I lived in their house I was exposed to a lot of people. There was this young man around his early twenties named David (I think -I will have to verify that with my mom) who used to come to the house a lot to hang out with Raul. He had recently immigrated to the US, just like us. I had a crush on him. I know I was five! So I made the mistake of telling my mom and her friend I had a crush on him. So they told David and they played a joke on me. I think I might have told my mom something like when I grow up I'm gonna marry David or something along those lines. So she and her friend took me to a store and bought me this pleated white dress. They told me the next time David comes over your gonna get married. I was confused but what could I do I was five? So the day came when they told me David was going to come over. They were taking pictures of me in my white dress but I was not smiling. I was nervous and when he came over I ran from the front of the house to the back of the house crying saying I didn't want to marry him. I'm sure they were laughing their asses off making fun of me running around the house screaming! Now that I think of it this was kind of traumatizing and pretty embarrassing! But funny as well. You think that had something to do with why when I get in a relationship with some one I immediately think I made a mistake and want to break up with them? I start this second guessing myself and thinking too much about it? Umm...great another can of worms opened. Damn it!

June 27 th 2007 and today

To most people they are not going to find any significance in that mundane Wednesday at all. But as for me that day was one of the most meaningful days  in my life. That was the day I stood up and gave my life for the Lord. Looking back I knew I have always been close to God for the simple fact that I should have died many times over if it were not for the fact that God wants me to do something on his behalf. That day I was at church with  my heart wide open thinking how could I ever get over this biggest heart break I had ever had. I would go to church Wednesdays and Sundays because that was the only place my heart did not hurt. Lakewood was the only place I felt safe and in the presence of the Lord. As if through all the people that preached I could hear His voice telling me that everything was going to be ok. And it was ok, The only regret I have about that day was that it didn't happen sooner. It should have happened years before after I got shot in the chest and survived. It could have happened when my doctor told me I had a tumor the size of a basketball he thought was cancer at the time. But no I was still stubborn to stand up for Him and declare my life was His to mold as He wished. But today is a different day, today is a better day then those dark days. Today I feel closer to Him. There isn't anything I can't tell Him and there isn't anything too small I can't bring to Him. Today I'm stronger and happier because He made me whole again. I know that whatever happens I will be ok. He has me in the palm of his hands. And I'm grateful for everything I have because all I have is because of God.


Xiomara

Book Review: What Every Body is Saying by Joe Navarro

My Book Rating: *****5 out of 5

Let me start of with saying that I don't even really know how I even came across this book on audible.com but I'm so glad that I did. This book in one word I AWESOME! Joe Navarro is an x FBI special agent and teacher with a career with them spading a quarter of a century. He has spend his whole career catching all kind of criminals by using his skill to decipher non verbal communication. I really think that anyone could benefit from reading this book. First of all I don't think I have ever read a book quite like this one. By "reading" this book I learned about the human brain and how the limbic system of the brain is the most honest part of the brain. He talks about some of the cases he helped solve in the FBI. I also learned about laws and the case Terri Vs Ohio which gave the right to a cop to be able to search you when he thinks there is an intent to commit a crime. I can say that before I read this book I thought that I was pretty good at reading body language just on the count of working with different people on a daily basis. But I was wrong. I learned a lot and while reading it I was never bored! I even gave had my coworker and my brother read some of it and they also thought it was great. My brother wants the hard copy so he can highlight in it. This book seriously (don't laugh) made me go want to people watch in the middle of a crowded mall with some dark glasses...LOL so I can see more examples of what he mentions in the book. This is a great book and it somehow leaves me wanting more knowledge about the subject, only the sign of a great book, don't you think?


Xiomara

A weight has been lifted

So I'm not sure if you guys know that I have an issue with forgiveness. I'm sure I have mentioned in passed blogs. Well this week I think I was sent a new challenge from God, at least that's what I'm taking it as. So a person from my passed asked to come back in. It was the person that I once thought was the love of my life. Of course he wasn't- as you might know I have made mistakes. As time has gone by I have come to let go of all the bitterness I held deep in my heart for the pain I though he cause in my life. I realized that I was as much to blame, maybe even more because I didn't go about it the way God would have wanted me to and for making him promise things he could not keep. I also realized that if I don't ever forgive him I will just keep failing the test that God sends me which will cause me to never get to the next chapter of my life. Whatever God holds for me. At first I wondered if it was a good idea but today as I sat in church Pastor Joel talked about the next step in your life.He said if you let things from your past go uncorrected (like unforgiveness) hold you back you might not enjoy to the fullest of what He has for you. So in a way I wasn't really doing it for him I was really doing it for me and the life that only God knows I want and hopefully has planned for me in the future. I almost feel like a weight has been lifted off me, because I know God is always in control not matter how bad I sometimes think things are. So I'm glad and hopeful to see what come next...

Xiomara