How bad do you want it?

So I'm pretty sure that I mentioned that I think of Joel Osteen as my pastor. A lot of the time when I listen to him something just clicks in my mind and I just get it. Well this time was no exception. I was listening to some of the latest sermons and I found one that really hit it home for me. So it was about going for what you want. He told about how his grandmother and grandfather were together for many years. He said his grandmother chewed tobacco. He told how the grandfather asked her and begged her and even offered her money to stop and she did not. He went to be with the lord before her. Later she wanted to get remarried and thought that is she still did tabaco no one would marry her. So she stopped, just like that. Why? Because there was something she wanted and knew that if she didn't then it would not happen. So I asked myself... I want to get married some day. I might not want any kids but I would like to have the option of getting married. In any case I asked myself...what area of my life can I look at that there is room for improvement? my health is what I came up with. I do not work out even though it is something that could help me immensely. It will help me with stress, not to mention the diabetes. I would be running outside so it will also help me with getting to hear God and be closer to Him. I would be able to pray to him in the open. Maybe I could hear him better. I think that is the only thing I can work on. I try ever day to be a good person and that is all I'm missing. If I do what I can maybe God can do what He can to make things happen for me. Plus, I was thinking I have such great friends that why wouldn't I want share more time with them? Being healthy isn't just about you, it's also about spending more time with the people you love, right? So this week I have been to the park two times. I walked two miles both days. Anyway it's only going to be getting better from here... I also bought new wireless head phones to help me get fit with music. Anything to help me want to go to the park...lol.

Family, Friends and New Years Resolutions...

Ok so this new year I planned to make more of an effort to be with my family more. I have family in another city in this state and then I also  have another half sister that lives in another state. So I had in my mind that I wanted to put more of an effort to do more things with them as my love language is quality time. So when do I call that quits? I mean when is it that I stop trying and let them reciprocate? I feel like I'm trying and I'm not getting anything back. So I would not like to cut my losses but then I feel like I should because a relationship can not be all one sided, right? Plus, I have to say I must thank the good Lord that I have an amazing group of friends. I can count on them to be there for me like they were family. Maria has been there for almost 30 years. I have Chryl that I have known for going 20 years. I have Judy that I have known for a while but just recently got to be so close to. Elizabeth is one of the most sweetest people I have meet and I hope we grow as good friends. I have my Mom that is my best friend in the whole wide world.  I don't want to force anything with any one. Stuff like that used to bother me I used to think Why don't they want me in their life? Why does it seem like I'm intruding...? But now I'm ok with the way it is. I'm me and not to be conceded or anything but I'm a great friend. I always try to do good things for people if I can. I have taken vacation time to take care of people and I have taken people on vacation. I'm not stingy with what I have. I try to live my life by the golden rule. But I can't force anything with anyone. I can not make someone want to try. It is what it is. So for now that's the way things are...The only thing I can ask God is to guide them and keep them safe.