My Place with Tim

So it's been a while since I wrote a blog... It's actually because there are some exciting things that have happened. I meet someone! He is an amazing man and I know he is the person I was waiting for all this time! So we meet on match.com. Yes, it works! We started chatting and we meet in dec 2021. From then it has been the best relationship I have ever had. He is mature and when he says he will do something he does it. He is sweet, kind, loving, funny, playful and most of all treats me so good. He asked me to marry him in May and I said Yes! We met at the park and he proposed at the park like the romantic man he is. He makes me want to do stuff that I never have before for anyone else. I get up early with him and make us breakfast and his lunch and dinner in the evenings... I help with laundry and I clean. I have always since I was young have been such an independent person that I thought I'm never gonna be that kind of girl. But then again I had never met anyone like Tim. It's weird because when we meet I got this peace feeling and it also happened on our 2dn date. You guys know I believe in God. I had prayed to him asking Him that when I meet my person I would have some type of feeling. And my prayer was answered. We have spent almost everyday together since feb. and I have learned a lot but mostly I learned to compromise and to put into actions what I had to learn the hard way. I'm so glad that I did the "work" before I got into this relationship. I was able to see all the anxious things I was doing before. I got realized I was the one accepting behavior that was uncalled for just because I didn't think I was enough. As soon as I saw my worth I stopped entertaining BS and started to really look for my partner in life. Once I decided what I would take and what I thought was unacceptable and what I wanted I started to be so much more successful in my picking people to really dedicate time to. That is when I found Tim. Well he found me in Oct. What I can say is that he has all the qualities I wanted and more that I didn't even know I needed. I love him so much and as time passes and I get to know him more I love him more. He makes me want to be the best version of me. We just got engaged so we aren't in a hurry to get married. I think we still have a lot to learn about each other. But just the little things because on the big things we agree on. I think this relationship is different for me because I have always been my authentic self. From the moment we met at the park I have always said what I wanted and what I felt and never kept anything away from him. And I would ask the right questions and he would answer with sincerity. And we were looking for the same thing, a partner in life. So we have had arguments but those were mostly misunderstandings. We worked through them and came out ahead. Had I known what I know now in my 20's I would have been married sooner. But I'm so happy with the man God gave me! I love him so much! He is moving in with me at the end of this month and it's exicting because I have never lived with someone before. But it has to happen, it's the next step. And when you know you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who is to say you are going too fast? I found my person and I have never been happier! I can only thank God for that...I will keep you updated if we have more news!

Love, 

Gladis

Course Corritors

It's so funny how people who write have a process. My process is usually the content first and then later I try to make witty title but somehow this one is different the title came first...so this one is about another observation I made to tie something together. You know some of God's mysterious ways. Let me tell you about an ex boyfriend. I'm going to call him Gilbert. So Gilbert and I meet online and I went to meet him in Dallas, this was when you didn't really hear about people getting killed or getting cut into little pieces by people they meet on the internet and if you had, at that point I had not. Either way Gilbert and I were not together long, we were not compatible long term but he was a course corrector in my life. Those people are the people that God sends in your life to adjust your path because there is something that needs to change or adjust in your life. So I'm sure I have mentioned it before that I have a rich circle of friends stemming from this one family I meet when I was 9 years old. Well there was a time where we were not seeing eye to eye and we were not on speaking terms. So this is where Gilbert was instrumental, I asked him what he thought about the situation and he advised me to reunite with Maria. We had stopped talking because at the time her husband and I didn't really get along. So his opinion persuaded me to call her and become friends again. If that had not happened I would have never meet Judy, who now is also one of my besties. So recently I had a situation that now I believe was another course corrector. I meet someone online which I never got to meet in person. Anyways to be honest the pix were too good to be true and one of my thoughts was, what does this dude want with me? which I know, I should not have been thinking that but Ill address that in a min. Ok so because of those pictures, they made me want to get fit again. So I started going to walk at the park and I have been going everyday since the 4th of July so almost one month. I have seen a difference in my body and my confidence. My mom and my friends see a difference too. So I'm super happy that God cares enough about me to bring someone into my life that by no action of their own could inspire me to get fit. And I did need that for me. So I want to thank God that he is still looking out for me. That he has a plan and all I have to do is summit my life to him and it will happen in His timing. And as far as that thought I had. I have decided to take some time for myself. The time line is one month right now and just work on me and see where that thought stemmed from. Why did it come up? Why did I feel inferior to the guy in those pix? For all I know they might belong to someone else entirely...and all the stuff this person was saying could have been a straight up lie. So why did I think I was less worthy? So I'm gonna be working on that for the next month...So we shall see what this discovers...wish me luck, cus chances are, I'm gonna need it. 

Xiomara

17 Years

 So last month turned 17 years since I was shot. I usually write a blog on the day of or the week of but this time I needed to compose my thoughts. This last year has been so weird with the pandemic and all. Really tough on me because my love language is quality time. I haven't been able to spend that time with my friends and as much as I would normally. It's a new reality. I'm hopeful that it's gonna change soon. But as far as this past year. I learned a lot. I took a whole bunch of  classes online and I'm learning a new trade. Leather working. It's very interesting and I have found that I like to sew by hand. I have used this time to learn new things. In any case most times I have something poetic to talk about but not this year. To be honest all those bad memories are fading, which is good for me. I mean when it first happened I would have nightmares about having to run and hide from someone with a gun. On Easter someone asked me about it and I changed the subject, I'm not sure why I felt unfordable talking about it. I though I had gotten passed that point... IDK. You know what I thought about recently? Someone called me a goody too shoes once. And I been thinking about that. I thought well I have so much to be grateful for. I survived a shot in the chest. I survived a tumor in my ovary. So yeah I will be a goody too shoes for the rest of my life because God is in me. Because God saved me. And I will represent Him for as long as I am alive. And then I think was this person jealous that of the way I live my life? umm, interesting... that is it for now. 

GXD

News Story Has Me Spinning

 A few days ago I was online and there was this news article that popped up on  my feed about this guy that overdosed. He was very young and to be honest I did not even read the whole thing. What I did read was he was a son of a very rich man.  It got me thinking. That is so sad that we all can have the same types of problems. Even if we don't have money or if we have the most amount of money. Addiction. I was thinking people are addicted to different things, right? Some are addicted to likes, shopping or drugs or food. But no amount of money can save us unless we WANT to save our selves. This story proves that. I mean the guys dad is a billionaire and even that couldn't save him. It's so sad he was so young. There were so many things he didn't get to do. Get married, have kids, find his calling...It goes to show you that even if you have money there are demons you have to fight. It starts me to thinking about the relationship we have in our lives and how communication plays a big role. Like I think about how close I am to my mom and I think about how I know a lot of people that don't even talk to their parents. I think wow I'm lucky because I can literally tell my mom anything and she never turns her back on me. How our relationship is so close, open and honest. I'm very lucky in that way. God has blessed me with a mom like mine. And then I think would that have helped this guy? Having a open, honest, close relationship with his parents have helped him not go down the path of drugs? Did the drive of the dad to make money play a part in the addiction of his son? Did the dad pay more attention to the drive of money more than the drive to be someone's dad? Where does the mom come in all of this? Was she an enabler?  or was the dad? Did they not see what was happing at all or did they see the signs and ignore them like most of us? Maybe thinking it wasn't as bad as it really was? All those thoughts came to my mind and then there is just sadness for the family. They lost a loved one and no amount of money can get him back. Ironic, huh?

My stapler...

 So I don't know if I ever wrote about how I'm a pen hoarder... Yes that is correct if you know me you know I'm like that dude in that movie Office Space with the red stapler... I can't tell you why. I think it is because when it was back to school time my mom used to buy me all the school stuff I wanted. You know all the things parents buy their kids, new clothes and new pens and notebooks. I think I'm associating that with happiness. I don't know all I know is that I have a lot around the house. Also I noticed a while back that when I remember notes I sometimes remember the color I wrote them in. So as you know with all this Covid-19 stuff going down I thought it was a good idea to start learning new things even if I can't go to school in person. So I joined skill success. I been loving it and as a result wanted new pens. So I did research and I found these. Also if you know me you know I'm super picky when it comes to pens. If they don't write how I like I don't use them and as a result I had accumulated A LOT. I actually went around the house and bunched similar ones together and have some a few lots in my ebay store. Anyways still I really like these they are- I would say the closest I found like the Pilot V5 but at a better price and you get so many. You get 12 colors and two of each so in total 24 for $20 bucks and if you have a coupon, even better. Ok that was it, just wanted to let you know about these pens...just in case you are a pen freak like me. :P

GXD

16 Years ago today...

So it's been 16 years since I was shot. It was so long ago...I think about it now and I feel so blessed. Not just because I didn't die out there in that parking lot but also because God changed my life that day. It was the beginning of the rest of my life. That day I turned in to an adult. I feel like I was a kid before then. I did not know how it was to be responsible for things like an adult. The most serious thing I had been responsible for at that point was making a car payment. Because of that night I went through a lot. I was in the hospital for 33 days. I had to grow up and know that there are a lot of bad people in the world. I got to be real with my boss after coming back from that and I got to tell them my plans for being with that company. I got to be there and be really good at it for 16 years. I know now that God spins things around for your good even when you think things are bad and can't get worse. All those things I went through to get here. I know God loves me. I talked to my sister last month and she was going through things and I told her how I felt about the trials of life and she said she wished she had that view. The view is that God will test you. Or maybe He doesn't send the test but in life there are going to be test just to see if you trust in Him. To see what will you do...how will you react? I have what I would like to think I have a connection to him and the Holy Spirt that I only want to get stronger. I know that He is always there. He was there the days I got shot He is here now as I sit at my computer and write this. I believe He is asking me to talk about what happened to me and I will do that but I'm not sure as to go about it. But I'm going to do as I'm told. I'm thinking about doing a YT video about it. I'm not really sure but we will see. I just want strength because when I talk about this I know there will be people that think I'm crazy. But then again when have I cared about what people think? Anyways this year's anniversary I can't really give you any words of wisdom more than the ones I have already written in previous years, to be honest. If that changes I will let you know. But one thing is that I am now ready to keep my word to Him and a YT video is coming. The question is, when?

G

To you

To you,

I heard this song the other day. As soon as I heard it- I thought of you. It talks about how the drinks bring back memories of you and all that we been through... I thought about the last time I saw you. You were with someone else and so was I. I though about how things could have been so different. But then I think, no, things are they way they are for a reason. I trust in God even if I don't know why those things happened. But even if I trust- doesn't help my mind from wondering about what could have been had we ever got our shit together. Maybe next lifetime we will get it right. Maybe...


-Gladis Xiomara